We construct different Selves in reaction to varied expectations of society. The Self is constructed and reconstructed in relationship to a social setting. A pair of dichotomous codes, the laws of collectivism and the laws of individualism, illustrate competing social codes that shape the general human struggle to create the Self. We constantly struggle to learn our social roles and at the same time break out of them to know ourselves. Discovering our identity does not mean uncovering something that is naturally there, but rather understanding how internal and external forces in a state of constant alteration shape us.
The construction of Self is dependent on language without which we are not ourselves. Language makes things representational, part of larger concepts. It makes the incomprehensible understandable. I learn how to see and see what I learn.
Our reality is constructed through representations of the interplay between Self and Other, you in me, me in you, wherein the dichotomy of Self versus Other, me versus you, you versus me is illusion. Nothing is simply itself but always contains a trace of its opposites. What does it take to resolve or integrate dichotomies?
To know one's Self is not to focus on the Self or the Other but on the state in between.